Today marks a quarter of a century since my beloved maternal grandmother left us. The day is etched in my mind, as clearly as if it were today - 25 years is a long time but the memories remain fresh. I was at her side when she departed this world, my final act of love ...
I am acutely aware that we have little control over how we will be remembered when our time comes - I am naturally a positive person, given to recognising & acknowledging kindness, effort & love so my memories are always tinted by my nature.
My grandmother was born in 1911, in a time frame when South Africa was recovering from the devastation of the Boer War of 1899-1902 which left much of the Transvaal devastated. I do not know how my grandmothers family were effected by those events because she did not say & I sadly did not ask.
She was just young when the first World War was declared barely 3 years after her birth. South Africa contributed to both wars & the price paid to many families were high. I wish I knew more of that time period.
However, my grandmother adored her parents & had a very close relationship with her sister Ivy & her two brothers. The 2 sisters were like chalk & cheese - Gran was steady & dedicated & Ivy was edgy, daring, always pushing boundaries - in many ways I have always said that they remind me of the Queen & her sister Margaret ...
(Sister Ivy on the left, my grandmother on the far right, others unknown)
These family photos hung on my grandparents walls, then my parents & they came to us about 20 years ago - my maternal great grandparents on both sides. My grandmothers father is on his own on the right - a familiar face & we call him by his name - Charles William ...
On my last trip to South Africa, my Aunt (my late mother’s much younger sister) gifted me my grandmothers collection of photos, documents & bits. As a dedicated genealogist, this was the best gift ever - a glimpse in to my grandmothers life that she had kept through letters, photos, obituaries, old passports, certificates & more.
Unfortunately few photos were named or dated & so Dad & I sat trying to make sense of it on our various stops on our travels. Dad was married in to the family for just short of 57 years so he knew them as well as anyone could, but they went back further than his association so it was a guessing game, with familiar faces being a starting point.
I brought the photos home to England with me (I had to buy another suitcase as we were travelling only with carry on luggage, but it was worth making the huge effort) and these photos took over the surfaces in our conservatory where the light is good & space is generous.
These photos on our conservatory sideboard & table for weeks while I tried to group them.
Finding familiar faces amongst the photos then working from there ...
The magnifying glass was needed to pick out people & hopefully identify some; it is hard to look back on familiar people as young adults with no other photos to reference it from.
However, a story emerged of my grandmothers early life that I knew little of & that helped me to understand her better. That generation faced so many challenges - stoically, head-on, determined. In this regard I take after my grandmother ...
I found a letter addressed to my grandmother in her spinster days & read it with interest, I quizzed my Dad, did you know of this? No, it was way before my Mom was even born. I looked through the envelope with the many funeral & other memorial notices that were placed in the newspaper on anniversaries of deaths & suddenly I found a part of my grandmothers life I did not know about.
A series of death notices bearing her name unveiled the sad story that she had been engaged when she was about 23 years old & he passed away. I had death dates & a name so I put a query on a closed SA genealogy group & it unlocked a story & a connection to the family. I asked if they had a photo of the person & as soon as the photo landed in my inbox, I knew exactly who he was - he was in numerous photos on my conservatory table, many photos of the families together, with my grandmother. When I asked for a photo of the headstone, I just knew exactly which photo it was likely to be, the one of my grandmother by a flower laden grave, different to the photos of her Fathers grave.
The poor chap passed away at just 26 from a heart attack brought on by his rheumatic fever & my grandmother kept a few letters, photos & his obituaries for her entire life. My grandmother on the right with him next to her in the striped jacket, her sister Ivy in the dark floral dress to his left ...
My grandmother as a young lady ...
Some 3 years later, the photo that starts my line, a young couple with Grandma’s parents. This is the first time my grandfather appears in the photos with my grandmother. He gives us our Prussian blood.
A young grandmother with my Mom as a baby (this was a cardboard photo album & it contained the oldest photos)
My grandfather took this photo to WW11 with him, an official photo that all seemed to do before they set off to the uncertainty of war ...
Tall, lean Teutonic features - this photo after WW11 (my aunt, the youngest was born after the war)
My late Mother, her baby sister, her late brother & her Father ...
My grandmother as a nurse, later a matron; she nursed throughout WW11, my mother lived with her grandparents for those years when both her parents enlisted. This image we scanned from a poor negative we found amongst the photos.
My Grandmother's father - a face so familiar as his portrait hangs on our wall. I do not know who the child is. I initially thought it might be my Mom but he passed before she was born ...
3 Generations - my gran, her mother & my Mother in Rhodesia when my great-grandmother joined them after she was widowed ...
So 25 years later, I am so fortunate to have been able to add to my understanding of my grandmothers life through the documents left behind. To speak their name is for them to live on still & that surely is something we can all aspire to - to be remembered with love & for the right reasons.
What surprises have you uncovered in your family history? Do you have a treasure trove of photos & documents?
I hope you have enjoyed this history with me, thank you for stopping by & taking the time to read & possibly leave a comment so I know you have been.
Dee ~💕~
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