Remembering Mom

Today marks 3 years since my Mother lost her fight with cancer.  Time heals the raw grief but as those who have lost a close one, it still strikes at unexpected times when a song, flower, perfume, lipstick, shoe style or something quite ordinary brings the harsh reality of the finality & fragility of life.

I don't know of anyone who has not had a friend, acquaintance or family member who has not been touched by cancer.

It is a bit of a lottery - some will have a less aggressive cancer that if found early, will respond to treatment & they will survive but that is not the common thread amongst the tales we know first hand.

Many, like my Mother, will fight it with everything they have, with determination to overcome it, but it will not always be so. It is an unforgiving disease - taking away strength & dignity, however strong the person.

So on this third anniversary - I light a candle to a life well lived, on her terms,  part of a devoted couple who stuck to their 'till death us do part' vows for 56 years.

My friend Ellie & I have signed up to do a midnight walk in aid The Severn Hospice - a local hospice that provides excellent palliative care to give dignity to those who need it. I visited a friends Mother who finished her last days - due to cancer too - in the local hospice.

So in honour of my Mother & other close friends & family who are facing down cancer - this walk will be to raise funds while remembering them.

My reflective advice is: 

Live your life the way you want to be remembered.

Write those letters, make the phone calls, tolerate the ones who brush you up the wrong way - we can't get on with everyone in our life but if you try to leave people feeling better as you part, you are making a difference - however small it might be.

Being right is not as important as being kind.

Don't stress the little things - they don't matter.

People won't remember what you said but how you made them feel.

We all feel invincible but we do not know how much time we have, so go gently through the world.

Do what you love & do it with love

To quote from one of my favourite books 

“Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.” (and be afraid) ― Karen Blixen, Out of Africa

If you know of someone with cancer, do not be afraid to speak to them, to be there to hold them up when their wings forget how to fly because they need that strength & comfort.

So go gently,  do random acts of kindness & be thankful for lives well lived.

Dee ~♥~