Sunday, 23 December 2012

Make your Christmas special ...

This Christmas will mark a particularly difficult year for us following the death of our beloved Mother & Matriarch  - her spirit was willing to the end but her body could no longer keep the cancer at bay.

The special women in my family

We travelled to Africa again this year  to carry out Mom's explicit wishes - 'no large funeral; those who mattered made the time to visit, phone & lighten my load, the rest left it too late' - she did not want my  Father to be burdened with it all, so according to her wishes us children, grandchildren & a favourite cousin gathered to lay her ashes to rest with our brother who had been taken way too soon & then we paid our respects to her parents, brother & aunt who are at rest close by - a fitting but painful time.

My Mother was born on Christmas Day - a Summer born babe who loved life. She had to share her birthday with the festive times but she just got on with it & our childhood Christmases were special with her birthday running parallel to the festivities, without a fuss about it not being her own day & in this regard, I take after her as I enjoy my birthday but never feel the need for a pile of fussing ...

This Christmas, I know will be tinged with private sadness for our loss but it is also a time to look forward; a chapter has closed but those we love are never gone while the living remember them.  My Mother faced her illness with great courage & so we must do the same & celebrate the good memories.

I am acutely aware that all we leave behind is memories for our loved ones & unlike Tom Sawyer & Huckleberry Finn, we cannot eavesdrop on our own funeral to see how we will be remembered. We can just do our best during our lifetime so that hopefully the memories we leave will bear testament to our spirit & be the legacy we leave behind us.

I do not subscribe to popular  posthumous idolatry but I like efforts & influences to be recognised in a sincere & genuine way - things best said while they can be appreciated, flowers given to the living, thoughtful words & gestures which mean a lot when given freely & sincerely, thank-you's offered without prompting, friends & families goodwill never taken fore granted....

I have hung angel wings on my fireplace garland & my photo used on local church cards has been sent to close family members - an angel from my home to theirs to ease their day in a small way ...

St Mary's church angels, Stafford

And so this Christmas - I will light my candles in my special Ethiopian holders - the crosses will cast their light to reflect my faith & the stained glass tea-light holder will be to celebrate the life of my Mother - well lived & brave to her last breathe.

Happy Winter Solstice

So my friends & followers,  however you celebrate it, be aware that you are making memories that will last a lifetime & beyond - few will remember the exact gifts exchanged or if lunch was on the table on time but they will remember how you make them feel when they are in your company!

So I wish you all a very blessed Christmas & hope you will all "Be kinder than you need to because everyone is fighting some kind of battle"

Thank you for stopping by,  make those memories & hold your special ones closer ...
Dee ~♥~


  1. Dee,
    I am so sorry to hear that your mother has passed on. Your writings clearly show how much you and your family love her. My father passed five years ago so I understand. You're right about those memories, we always cherish them.


    1. Thank you for your kind words Kim - I hope you & yours have a lovely Christmas too


  2. Your mother, like mine, was beautiful and a great influence in your life. This is a lovely tribute to her as you remember her birthday and life. Christmas Blessings to you and your family. xo

    1. Thank you Susy - we all have to count our blessings & be thankful. I hope you & yours have a lovely Christmas too x


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