Kinkeeping at Christmas ...

I learnt a new phrase recently Kinkeeping Kinkeeping 

Noun - [kin-kee-ping] 

The labour involved in maintaining and enhancing family ties. 

Kinkeeping is a term coined by sociologist Carolyn Rosenthal (McMaster University) back in 1985, stating that it’s primarily a female activity. Yet, over the past 20 years, nothing has changed: 91% of kinkeepers are still women.

Kinkeeping is a form of work that is devalued; it’s feminized and women are culturally expected to do more of this emotional labour. And yet it’s essential because it allows our families, communities and societies to run.

It is a phrase used to describe the unseen & often undervalued contribution women make to keeping traditions & observations alive in families.  The kinkeeper looks after both sides of the family doing cards & gifts, keeping track of birthdays, anniversaries, events, occasions etc. 

The festive season means trees to be decorated, sideboard to be changed, menus to be sorted for the shopping needs, gifts to be bought & wrapped, cards to be written & posted etc. It is a busy time ... 

My grandmother & mother were our kinkeepers - making, baking & doing so many things that it all just happened. My grandparents used to visit a jeweller in the centre of Johannesburg to buy the silver charms for the Christmas pudding which was then baked weeks in advance. There was a joyous anticipation of finding a silver charm. 

It is a role that is carried on with great love, trying to maintain old traditions that hold memories while creating new ones for a new generation - traditions evolve but there is a warm glow when some old ones are sill observed by another generation.

I baked at the knee of my Grandmother & Mother & it is a tradition I have tried to uphold with the next generation - the smell of baking & the special time together is one I value. 

This role passes unseen & without fanfare at some point in time; it is the glue & love that holds it all together. 

However, some are so organised that they take on some roles, not because you don’t want to do it, but because someone else has a talent & ability to do it well & that is how traditions pass on ... 

Kinkeeping, especially over holidays, can be tiring keeping on track of multiple lists of things & little wonder they feel rather frazzled at the end of it with the decorating, shopping, gift wrapping & giving, cooking & setting a beautiful table ...

The magic of Christmas is not in the things, it is in the people who make it special.  

Who is the kinkeeper in your family? What traditions are special that will be carried forward? Tell all & thank you for your visit, it is appreciated. 

Dee  📝🎶🎄🤷‍♀️