Thursday, 9 March 2017

5 years on ....

How quickly & slowly time can pass at the same time. It is 5 years since the passing of my Mother.

To speak their name, is to make them live again. 


This date will forever be ingrained in my mind - the day when my Mother 'slipped the surly bounds of earth to touch the face of God,' gone from our sight but never from our mind.  I wrote the story of the strong women in my family just a day before Mom passed. 

This post summed up what many of us feel when we have lost a parent & the sands of time have shifted, things can never quite be the same again.

Because we lived in several countries for many years, I regret that my daughters didn't get to spend as much time with them as I would have liked. However, my Mother sent postcards & letters to them regularly of images that she thought they would enjoy. She made an effort to bridge that gap & they in turn sent her cards of their antics which I found in a large collection when I visited my Dad. I always loved opening my door to find a letter from Mom on the door mat, filled with news from home & these cherished letters are stored in a special holder I made as a tribute on a previous anniversary.

From the above link, I can relate to these comments:

6. Don’t [complain] about your parents in front of me. You will get an earful about gratitude and appreciation. As a “Dead Parents Club” member, I would take your place in a heartbeat. Get some perspective on how truly fleeting life is.

This resonates strongly - some just don't appreciate the privilege of still having parents around to sound off, meet up with & just have someone there on their side. That support goes with your parents - no one else can tell you off & support you at the same time!

9. Life does go on, but there will be times even years later, you will still break down like it happened yesterday.

There are still times when you reach for the phone to share something important & realise that you can't - the important times cannot be shared, a perfume on someone you pass evokes a memory, the passing glimpse in the mirror of your image which suddenly reminds you of your genes  ....

10. When you see your friends or even strangers with their mom or dad, you will sometimes be jealous. Envious of the lunch date they have. Big life events are never ever the same again.

Of course there is always a little of this too - the knowledge that things change irrevocably, especially as your parents are often your harshest critic when you grow up & how relationships change over time, especially as you finally get their angst when you were growing up & they had the fears all parents have for their children.


The days which mark their birthday, anniversary or death are remembered only by their nearest & dearest,  my Dad & her were lifelong soulmates; we will phone & draw comfort from that shared love; we will celebrate Mom's life ...

On this day, I will give thanks for a life well lived & a Mother who is missed in many great & small ways ...

I will once again light my angel candle in quiet reflection & remember a date seared in my mind.  These were the flowers we placed on my Mother & brother's grave when we took our leave ...


I leave you with this sobering thought -


Thank you for stopping by, make your life count, make it matter .... 
Dee ~♥~

4 comments:

  1. I loved reading this post.My mother died in 2012 and my father ied ast August. My sisters and I feel lost and as though we have been set adrift. Nothing can prepare you for the loss of your parents. We all have loving husbands and children but nothing can replace the love of Mum and Dad. Nothing will ever be the same again.

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    1. Hi Debbie - Thank you for taking the time to share your story. I think it is the realisation of time passing & that we all shift up to the top of the tree that makes it more difficult. I too have a close loving family & am fortunate to still have my Dad. Perhaps losing a parent makes us wonder what our own contribution & legacy will be ... x

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  2. I can so identify...My Mom passed away in 2012...just a few short (too short) months after the passing of my Dad. I STILL think of things that I need to tell her....
    For my last birthday before she left us, she gave me a small crystal vase. I keep it in my kitchen window and fill it with some sort of greenery or flower that I have grown in the yard. It keeps her close and makes me get out and work in the yard :^)
    Blessings, and a Texas sized hug to you,
    J

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    1. Hi Jaybird - that is a lovely memory to have so that it is close by you. It is amazing how important these small memories become. Hugs on your double loss - the only condolence is that they are together ... I think we will always have things we want to share or tell with those we loved. Have a lovely week, Spring has sprung here with plummeting temperatures & heavy rain .. Best wishes D

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