For all the special women in my family ...

As  "International Women's Day" honours women, I want to honour the women in my family.

My Mother comes from an indomitable line of strong, settler women who knew their own mind & were not afraid to speak it or stand up for themselves & their beliefs ....

Mom was born before WWII; her Mom, my maternal grandmother, was a nurse & later a matron; she was a matter of fact, organised & quite determined woman. She nursed throughout the war, attending to injured soldiers & travelling in ambulances through the blackout then still sewed canvas tents at night as part of the massive South African war effort.  She was awarded a medal by King George VI during his visit of 1947 for saving the lives of people trapped in a train derailment while risking her own life!

My Mother & her brother effectively spent a large part of her early years being doted on by my great-grandparents who tried to make up for both their parents being away at war. We can barely imagine what it must have been like for children growing up at that time …

After the war, life resumed & later the great love story of Mom's life happened - married young to the love of her life, her & Dad have always made a dashing couple with their good looks ...

and style ....

which I don't think I inherited ...

5 lovely children later & they still looked rather dashing ...

Mom & her maternal great-aunt shared a love for the water - great aunt Ivy in the 50's

Mom always teaching everyone to swim or taking us for trips to the seaside.

.... even on a visit a few years ago - my girls running in the waves with her

Oldest daughter lucky to be in a photo of 4 generations of us ladies ...

This past year, our Mom & matriarch has been gravely ill - so we all made our way to their farm in Africa to meet new family members & to gather as one does at such times….

& us girls with Dad - Mom's rock & the great love of her life for over 55 years

So I pay tribute to all the strong ladies in my life - my special daughters, my sister & sisters-in-law, my friends who hold me up when my wings have trouble remembering how to fly;

Edited entry ...
and most especially for my Mom who has now lost her battle with cancer ....

 their love story holding strong to the very end ....

Remember to treasure your strong women ♥
Dee ~♥~

5 years on ....

How quickly & slowly time can pass at the same time. It is 5 years since the passing of my Mother.

To speak their name, is to make them live again. 

This date will forever be ingrained in my mind - the day when my Mother 'slipped the surly bounds of earth to touch the face of God,' gone from our sight but never from our mind.  I wrote the story of the strong women in my family just a day before Mom passed. 

This post summed up what many of us feel when we have lost a parent & the sands of time have shifted, things can never quite be the same again.

Because we lived in several countries for many years, I regret that my daughters didn't get to spend as much time with them as I would have liked. However, my Mother sent postcards & letters to them regularly of images that she thought they would enjoy. She made an effort to bridge that gap & they in turn sent her cards of their antics which I found in a large collection when I visited my Dad. I always loved opening my door to find a letter from Mom on the door mat, filled with news from home & these cherished letters are stored in a special holder I made as a tribute on a previous anniversary.

From the above link, I can relate to these comments:

6. Don’t [complain] about your parents in front of me. You will get an earful about gratitude and appreciation. As a “Dead Parents Club” member, I would take your place in a heartbeat. Get some perspective on how truly fleeting life is.

This resonates strongly - some just don't appreciate the privilege of still having parents around to sound off, meet up with & just have someone there on their side. That support goes with your parents - no one else can tell you off & support you at the same time!

9. Life does go on, but there will be times even years later, you will still break down like it happened yesterday.

There are still times when you reach for the phone to share something important & realise that you can't - the important times cannot be shared, a perfume on someone you pass evokes a memory, the passing glimpse in the mirror of your image which suddenly reminds you of your genes  ....

10. When you see your friends or even strangers with their mom or dad, you will sometimes be jealous. Envious of the lunch date they have. Big life events are never ever the same again.

Of course there is always a little of this too - the knowledge that things change irrevocably, especially as your parents are often your harshest critic when you grow up & how relationships change over time, especially as you finally get their angst when you were growing up & they had the fears all parents have for their children.

The days which mark their birthday, anniversary or death are remembered only by their nearest & dearest,  my Dad & her were lifelong soulmates; we will phone & draw comfort from that shared love; we will celebrate Mom's life ...

On this day, I will give thanks for a life well lived & a Mother who is missed in many great & small ways ...

I will once again light my angel candle in quiet reflection & remember a date seared in my mind.  These were the flowers we placed on my Mother & brother's grave when we took our leave ...

I leave you with this sobering thought -

Thank you for stopping by, make your life count, make it matter .... 

Dee ~♥~

The Advent Sundays & other rituals in trying times ...

 Hi everyone, 

This ongoing crisis has bubbled alongside us for a staggering 273 days with no end in sight. Each time there is a glimmer of hope, it is snatched away & the despair is becoming paletahle now. 

Our home decorations are unseen by friends who would usually join us for Xmas baking & suppers doing December. That cannot happen & it means the rituals we usually observe, have been set aside. 

Sometimes, rituals are the things that you observe because they are familiar & comfortable; they help in difficult times as they give structure to events. The festive season is challenging enough normally when people are hothoused together & often the tasks fall unevenly leaving people feeling overwhelmed. 

The familiar ones of listening to Carols, setting the table properly, of putting out crackers with dependable filings, the silliness of wearing the paper cracker hat, the reading of the silly jokes etc are things which set a rhythm to the day. 

My late Mom used to buy advent calendars for the daughters when it was not a mainstream event & they could only be bought from specialist shops in Johannesburg, a reminder of the German influence that existed there.  This was Mom’s joy to hand them over & I have continued it ever since, even buying fabric ones that could be filled with chocolates I knew the family would enjoy. 

When I was growing up in South Africa, presents were opened in the morning, then my late Mom & Grandmother did the lunch; the table was always beautifully set & the crackers were laid out.  Us children used to sneak in & peek through the crackers for the nicest games or toys & then move them around & so it would continue. When we eventually pulled them, it was often not the one we had carefully manoeuvred as someone else had done the same thing. Those little cracker toys were in demand then, in simpler times. 

After lunch, my Dad & Grandad would adjourn to the patio with the bowls of nuts in their shells & we would all eagerly select our favourites - the bitter almonds were seldom in demand, & then if we could not open them ourselves with the variety of nutcrackers, they would crack them for us so we would enjoy every single little bit of it. I still buy nuts as this is such a fond memory. This year, the two traditional nut crackers were no where to be found, I searched the familiar cutlery drawers (plural) and the cupboards but in the end I had to buy this modern one which does the job rather well .... 

There always has to be an iced Christmas cake on the cake stand for the afternoon with a hot drink before watching the Queens Speech in the UK. 

The afternoon is for games, songs, news - we used to play monopoly or cards at home. My Great aunt was a great card player & that was her influence. She had no children of her own & regarded her gaggle of nieces & nephews as fair game to impart her skills on. 

Simpler times, these rituals evolve & I wonder which ones my family will continue & which ones they will treasure - too often this is not clear. 

I have diligently lit my 4 Advent candles again, a nod to the Teutonic ancestry I have - the simple flame on the four Sundays leading up to Christmas just slows the pace & makes me reflect - mainly on those who are absent - my Mother was a Christmas baby & it is always a reflective time for me to ponder the opportunities missed, the times taken fore granted ....

I wish you a blessed time as you prepare for Christmas, however it will look this year. 

Thank you for your company, each & every visit & comment is much appreciated, 

Dee ~💕~

Celebrating Mom's life

It is so easy to be drawn into the sadness that prevails when you lose someone you love, but I am determined to celebrate my Mother's life a year on rather than dwell on how cancer robbed her of a long life & a dignified end.

Last year, a day before she passed I posted this  for the special women in my family  .

Then as she 'slipped the surly bonds of earth .... to touch the face of God',  a friend, Sarah, sent me this:

The Significant Hours of our Life

"One other thing stirs me when I look back at my youthful days...  The fact that so many people gave me something or were something to me without knowing it. Such people, with whom I never perhaps exchanged a word, yes, and others about whom I merely heard things by report, had a decisive influence on me; they entered into my life and became powers within me.

Much that I should otherwise not have felt so clearly or done so effectively was felt or done as it was, because I stand, as it were, under the sway of these people.  Hence I always think that we all live, spiritually, by what others have given us in the significant hours of our life.

These significant hours do not announce themselves as coming, but arrive unexpected.  Nor do they make a great show of themselves; they pass almost unperceived. Often, indeed, their significance comes home to us first as we look back, just as the beauty of a piece of music or of a landscape often strikes us first in our recollection of it.  

Much that has become our own in gentleness, modesty, kindness, willingness to forgive, in veracity, loyalty, resignation under suffering, we owe to people in whom we have seen or experienced these virtues at work, sometimes in a great matter, sometimes in a small.  A thought which had become an act sprang into us like a spark, and lighted a new flame within us.....

If we had before us those who have thus been a blessing to us, and could tell them how it came about, they would be amazed to learn what passed over from their life into ours."

                                                         Albert Schweitzer (1875 – 1965)

So I choose to celebrate my Mother's life well lived because I  will not let her be defined by her last months of treatment which she faced so bravely. My Dad, her lifelong rock, at her side through it all, giving her the strength to be strong.

What legacy would you like to leave?

How would you like to be remembered? 

So make those calls, write those letters, spoil your Mom while you can - tomorrow is never promised!

Rest peacefully Mom,
Dee ~♥~

Happy (UK) Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all our lovely UK Mums

Forgive my absence, I have been away but got back just in time for Mother's Day in the UK, also known as Mothering Sunday.


I am a Motherless Daughter, having lost my Mom 6 years ago this past week. I choose to celebrate her life & give thanks that she was with us till she was 75.

This is an early photo of Mom & me in Rhodesia - somehow, Mom always stylish, what the heck was I wearing - this photo always makes me smile ...

This seen on a Motherless Daughter blog today

Indeed - I am blessed with two lovely daughters whose thoughtful deeds are not confined to one day only - that is a true blessing!

Together with the daughters at the yongests graduation in December - they are very special to me. 

A favourite breakfast made for me today, eaten in our conservatory (my favourite space which overlooks the garden) - little pancakes with fruit, natural yoghurt, cinnamon & maple syrup with some filter coffee - life is good! 

Favourite plates - Portobello by Portmeirion

May all the lovely Mothers I know have a blessed day, special thoughts to those who like me are Motherless - 'declare their good, forget the rest'

Dee ~💕~

My Gentlework letter holder is finished ...

Spring has sprung & the weather has turned ... wintery. Perfect for settling down inside by the fire & doing some stitching at night.

I mentioned my recent discovery of the gentle art of Gentlework - the creative use of fabrics & stitches all done by hand to make panels, brooches & anything else that inspires you.

On my sewing day, I had hoped to make a letter holder for precious letters from my late Mom but that was a little too ambitious for a first project so I was content with a fabric panel instead. However it was still in my mind to complete the letter holder / store so that was always going to be my next project.

Rustic & White had some gorgeous Tilda fabric pieces & I bought some bright colours - mainly pinks & a pretty green - that I liked.  These were my first choice for inspiration.

This is how I started one evening - cutting out bits of fabric, pinning, moving & finding the beads, buttons & bits I wanted to embellish with ...

As you can see - it did not stay like my original plan as I changed it about. That is why I like to pin & move things about ... Are you a planner & pinner?

I had one of my grandmothers vintage lace cloths that my Mom used to use that was the perfect size so that was to be the background fabric. I backed it with soft blanket-like inter lining for curtains, machine stitched it to the cloth edges then was ready to start hand sewing.

I decided on some pretty crochet bits for the bottom & a tree shaped one that framed the image perfectly.

I would love to say I had a pattern in my head, but in all honesty, I just added bits, cut, trimmed & stitched until it took shape & balance.

A flower shape didn't quite work once it was stitched but then I decided to add bold pink buttons to it & am pleased with the texture of it.

A small round doily (one of my grandmothers) was used over a bright pink patterned fabric then beads added for some 'bling' ...

Ellie who did the Gentlework day with me, dropped off some fabric she had & I found a piece with the pretty hearts - perfect for the fold over cover piece - thanks Ellie! The main fabric was one that had been used by both my grandmother & my mother so it is a link to them.  Both of them also loved sewing & crocheting so all the elements honoured that too - a special piece.

The piece hovered between stages for a couple of days as the centre needed something but nothing seemed right till I popped into Jo at Rustic & White & found the perfect pink & green Tilda flower fabric ...

Lots of hand stitching, beading, buttons & bling & it is complete after a weeks worth of stitching work. Looking up closely, I know I still have to get my stitches more even & precise but that will come in time (or so I tell myself)

So my letter holder is finished - in cheerful colours & it will be used to store my precious letters from my Mom ...

Thank heavens for letters - emails are just not the same & can't really be stored to be reread & enjoyed.  Do you keep letters too? How do you store them?

Thanks for stopping by, always enjoy reading your comments & clicking on your links to return the visits

Dee ~♥~

Counting down to Christmas

The year has flown & we are now at the start of the festive season.

Do you have traditions in your home?

24 years ago, when eldest was facing her first Christmas as a toddler,  my Mom started a tradition by giving her a rather nice chocolate advent calendar from a specialist shop in Johannesburg, South Africa.

Advent calendars were not common, certainly not on every supermarket shelf & so it was very special.

We also lit an advent candle each night when we had our evening meal & so our tradition was born.

My Mom was born on Christmas day so her birthday was completely entwined with the festive season & these traditions were totally unselfish.

While the girls grew up in Africa, Mom always made sure they had their advent calendars - she scoured the continental shops to find them & it is something we have always continues.

Three years ago, having left it rather close to December to find the calendars, I found none so we switched to two fabric ones which now grace our inglenook fireplace - ready for the count down.

Our fireplace has a set of angels wings as a central part in honour of a beloved mother who we lost earlier this year ....

This was our lounge last Christmas .... as a family we always only decorate our tree & house after the first Sunday of Advent because the decorations will stay up until Epiphany / Twelfth Night.

The lighting of the candles signals the start of our Christmas season at home
What are your traditions over the festive season?

Thanks for stopping by & leave your link so I can return the visit,
Dee ~♥~

Time passes ....

I hope you have not tired of my sewing enthusiasm & efforts. Yesterday I was joined by a good friend for a day of hand sewing & on the way over, we chatted about what we thought we would make. Each of us chose something personal. I shared that mine was leaning towards making a letter holder / folder to store my precious letters from my late Mother.

It was a conscious thought because today marks 2 years & it has been on my mind more this past week.  Many shared the journey of the strong women in my family  & the closing chapter, then last year I blogged that I was remembering-to-celebrate-life and again I am thankful for the time spent & memories shared.

Over tea, a favourite past time of my Mom's,

I selected what she would have liked - lots of lace, pretty pink crochet flowers that reminded me of the flowers we placed as a final tribute. I used fabrics that were pretty but not dated as Mom was always stylish.

I used to embroider with my Mom so I reached into the recesses of my mind to recall some of the stitches from so far back - running, blanket, stem, slip stitch to attach the embellishments of buttons, beads, lace, & quilted pieces. I added typed texts ...

It did not turn out to be a letter holder but more of a small panel; however, it was lovely to find  reflection time by making something with someone special in mind.  I loved the fellowship & easy chatter as I wondered around taking photos of the beautiful work; in Afrikaans we call it 'gesellig' - comfortable, sociable ….

My next project will be that letter bag but for now ... 'The Parting' is my tribute!

Dee ~♥~